Today was a bittersweet day.
Today, my wife got to sit in the same room with her parents and few other family members. I would wade through waters infested with alligators to allow her that privilege. Of course, we are in Palm Springs, CA and there are no alligators but California speed bumps might feel the same. During our final leg of driving, we survived the areas of the interstate labeled "Expect high winds" or "Death spiral, mountain downgrade, say your prayers before this downgrade ahead". The death spiral signs are huge and mess with your chakra but we survived. DANGER, WHINING AHEAD. Please remember I warned you.
I am sick of crawling up the upgrades and death spiraling downgrades. We must have gone through two or three thousand ascents and descents of mountains in the last week. I will quit whining when I have sat on flat ground for a couple days. I promise. I understand the California lifestyle now. I speak Californian and will translate a typical day. "Okay kids get in the car and please don't vomit as we death spiral on the third mountain. It upsets the dogs chakra." I promise not to mention chakras again for a while.
I intentionally waited to update the blog. We had a rough start here in Palm Springs. We arrived in early afternoon and setup in a "RV Resort". To keep from being sued I will not mention the "RV Resort's" name. Well if the "RV Resort" was going to resort to anything it would be to lend truth in advertising. This ain't a "RV Resort", it is a trailer park. An RV resort would not have year round residents. But who am I to be picky.
We pulled into this park and found our assigned spot and docked The Love Boat into our thirty day slip. As luck had it, it was not thirty days before we moved, it was thirty minutes. The person in the permanent residence next door found offense with Riley barking. Riley had been couped up for two weeks and was not a happy puppy. Oh man that pun worked out in my favor. Riley had in fact barked a few times while I was present and was reprimanded. I am not certain about what transpired after I left to run an emergency errand. Anyway. the permanent resident beside our spot waited until I left then decided to sashay his fancy pants over to The Love Boat and verbally abuse my wife about the puppies' conduct. Deb called me on the cell phone (no it is not a ship to shore telephone) and informed me about Fancypant's conduct. I am a reasonable man. I have been told that by sober people a few times in my life. Anyway, Fancypants committed a cardinal sin by waiting until I left before jumping my woman, The Queen of My Singlewide with Slideouts. This is where I jump onto a table and beat my chest like King Kong, yelling "Woman good, Fancypants bad" and jump around grunting. I think you get the picture. I told Deb not to worry because I would handle it. I drove back and spoke to the park manager and fixed the problem. We moved and my chakra was stable again. Ok I lied about not mentioning chakras again. The spot we moved to was just fine. I thought my bad karma day was over until we tried leaving the "RV Resort". I was driving along about stall speed for The Crapper heading toward the exit when open stupidedness commanded by attention. I don't care if stupidedness is not a word. Please keep up. The Crapper has a manual transmission and stall speed is about 7 to 10 mph. I am not sure and could care less about the actual speed the thing stalls. As we were leaving we had a person, hereafter called Mr Dumas, pull his golf cart out in front of The Crapper. I mentioned to my woman (at this point I still was still jumping around and beating my hairy chest) that Mr Dumas lacked the necessary skills to successfully live a normal and constructive life. I stopped the car and said, "Deb did you notice the highly educated gentleman navigating his golfcart into a collision path with our car with impudence?" To which The Queen of My Single Wide with Slideouts said, "Yes darling, his driving skills are so rudimentary". Well Mr Dumas decided to shine a flashlight into my eyes during his trek to ICU. I stopped the car and decided to inquire as to why Mr Dumas needed my assistance. I will quote Mr Dumas word for word, "The park speed limit is 5 mph". As I mentioned earlier, I am a reasonable man. Mr Dumas had pushed another button that Fancypants had not. By now I had been deathspiraled, windblown, and vacated as much as my earnest upbringings would allow. I thought about jumping onto his golf cart and swatting at Mr Dumases (plural for more than one Dumas) like King Kong on the Empire State Building swatted airplanes. But, my chakra had stabilized, so I calmly decided to leave Mr Dumas to his trailerparkedness and go visit with some nice people namely my wife's folks. The rest is history. I miss the vortexes (gggrrrr) of Sedona.
Al
Today, my wife got to sit in the same room with her parents and few other family members. I would wade through waters infested with alligators to allow her that privilege. Of course, we are in Palm Springs, CA and there are no alligators but California speed bumps might feel the same. During our final leg of driving, we survived the areas of the interstate labeled "Expect high winds" or "Death spiral, mountain downgrade, say your prayers before this downgrade ahead". The death spiral signs are huge and mess with your chakra but we survived. DANGER, WHINING AHEAD. Please remember I warned you.
I am sick of crawling up the upgrades and death spiraling downgrades. We must have gone through two or three thousand ascents and descents of mountains in the last week. I will quit whining when I have sat on flat ground for a couple days. I promise. I understand the California lifestyle now. I speak Californian and will translate a typical day. "Okay kids get in the car and please don't vomit as we death spiral on the third mountain. It upsets the dogs chakra." I promise not to mention chakras again for a while.
I intentionally waited to update the blog. We had a rough start here in Palm Springs. We arrived in early afternoon and setup in a "RV Resort". To keep from being sued I will not mention the "RV Resort's" name. Well if the "RV Resort" was going to resort to anything it would be to lend truth in advertising. This ain't a "RV Resort", it is a trailer park. An RV resort would not have year round residents. But who am I to be picky.
We pulled into this park and found our assigned spot and docked The Love Boat into our thirty day slip. As luck had it, it was not thirty days before we moved, it was thirty minutes. The person in the permanent residence next door found offense with Riley barking. Riley had been couped up for two weeks and was not a happy puppy. Oh man that pun worked out in my favor. Riley had in fact barked a few times while I was present and was reprimanded. I am not certain about what transpired after I left to run an emergency errand. Anyway. the permanent resident beside our spot waited until I left then decided to sashay his fancy pants over to The Love Boat and verbally abuse my wife about the puppies' conduct. Deb called me on the cell phone (no it is not a ship to shore telephone) and informed me about Fancypant's conduct. I am a reasonable man. I have been told that by sober people a few times in my life. Anyway, Fancypants committed a cardinal sin by waiting until I left before jumping my woman, The Queen of My Singlewide with Slideouts. This is where I jump onto a table and beat my chest like King Kong, yelling "Woman good, Fancypants bad" and jump around grunting. I think you get the picture. I told Deb not to worry because I would handle it. I drove back and spoke to the park manager and fixed the problem. We moved and my chakra was stable again. Ok I lied about not mentioning chakras again. The spot we moved to was just fine. I thought my bad karma day was over until we tried leaving the "RV Resort". I was driving along about stall speed for The Crapper heading toward the exit when open stupidedness commanded by attention. I don't care if stupidedness is not a word. Please keep up. The Crapper has a manual transmission and stall speed is about 7 to 10 mph. I am not sure and could care less about the actual speed the thing stalls. As we were leaving we had a person, hereafter called Mr Dumas, pull his golf cart out in front of The Crapper. I mentioned to my woman (at this point I still was still jumping around and beating my hairy chest) that Mr Dumas lacked the necessary skills to successfully live a normal and constructive life. I stopped the car and said, "Deb did you notice the highly educated gentleman navigating his golfcart into a collision path with our car with impudence?" To which The Queen of My Single Wide with Slideouts said, "Yes darling, his driving skills are so rudimentary". Well Mr Dumas decided to shine a flashlight into my eyes during his trek to ICU. I stopped the car and decided to inquire as to why Mr Dumas needed my assistance. I will quote Mr Dumas word for word, "The park speed limit is 5 mph". As I mentioned earlier, I am a reasonable man. Mr Dumas had pushed another button that Fancypants had not. By now I had been deathspiraled, windblown, and vacated as much as my earnest upbringings would allow. I thought about jumping onto his golf cart and swatting at Mr Dumases (plural for more than one Dumas) like King Kong on the Empire State Building swatted airplanes. But, my chakra had stabilized, so I calmly decided to leave Mr Dumas to his trailerparkedness and go visit with some nice people namely my wife's folks. The rest is history. I miss the vortexes (gggrrrr) of Sedona.
Al
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