Dude, don't even ask me where we are because I ain't sure. Let's just say you go to Phoenix and go westbound until your patience for driving is 99% gone and here you are--Tonopah, AZ. Driving through "town" took about 5 microseconds and was more like a big truckstop than a town. But the RV park is first rate. Deb said it was built by the givermint and was used for housing of workers constructing a nuke plant or somesuch. The givermint sold it to these guys and so we have a nice RV park in the middle of Godawfulville right down the road from Armpit, AZ. Dude. Please allow me to thank you all for your tax dollars in making my stay in Godawfulville a nice one.
While driving today, we decided that The Puppies needed to use the little puppies' room. I found an exit off the interstate and sailed The Love Boat into a port in the storm. The building at the exit was a "convenience" store with what looked to be tractor trailer truck parking. So, I sailed The Love Boat into troubled waters thinking that any place a tractor trailer truck can go so can I. After turning in, I immediately noticed that the truck parking was back in only truck parking which is fine for tractor trailers but not for a motorhome pulling a car and there was no way to turn around. Motorhomes towing cars can't back up due to the towbar. Yep, this situation was not good. I pulled the motorhome into a space nose first and got out and surveyed the situation. I guess motorhomes don't stop in Bohunkville Grocery very often because we were a spectacle. I walked around and found a field nearby that was large enough to turn around in. So, Deb and I used Emergency Love Boat Measure Number 1 which means she gets into The Crapper (which remains connected to the motorhome) and steers The Crapper while I push it backwards with the motorhome. This action was today's entertainment for Bohunkville Grocery as the town's population came outside to watch. Yes there were 10 people with 20 legs and 15 total teeth watching Deb ride in The Crapper. The operation took a few minutes, but The Love Boat pushed back enough to allow me to point it into the field and turn it around. After we got it turned around, I thought seriously about going outside and dropping my drawers and showing them my backside but that might have resulted in banjos, canoes, pig squealing, and unpleasantness. So I didn't, but I wanted to.
That's it for today. Tomorrow is Palm Springs, CA and our stopping point for a month. See you tomorrow.
Al
Monday, November 28, 2011
Las Cruces, NM Coffee Dude Nov 27, 2011
Oh lovely. My day started off just peachy. We woke up at what our bodies thought was 8:30am but was actually 6:30am local time. I haven't had any decent coffee in a week, so we decided to go to Starbucks. Having not had a bath and looking like that grandmother from last night licked us and put us in the car, we decided to go through the drive through lane at Starbucks. I rolled down the window and spoke to Chatty Drive Through Cathy on the intercom. I would say a word and Chatty Drive Through Cathy would interrupt me. This process went on until Chatty Drive Through Cathy decided that I was mad enough and let me talk--finally. Chatty Drive Through Cathy had the local dialect that is so common in this area in which they sort of chant when they talk. A good way to describe it is for you to say Hiawatha and chant each syllable slowly with a beat--Hi A Wath A. Anyway, Chatty Drive Through Cathy finally shut up and let me order. I drove up to the drive through window and the window opened and Mr Drive Through Thing stuck his head out and chanted, "You had....." Well I guess Mr Drive Through Thing was male as I couldn't actually tell. I looked up at him and started to say, "Dang, I'll bet your mama is proud of you". Mr Drive Through Thing had short cropped hair and looked like Drew Carey but had on glasses that normally is only worn by old Jewish women. There should be a law against something that freaky scaring the beJesus out of me first thing in the morning. After I forced myself to be nice to Mr Drive Through Thing I got our coffee and drove off. Even though I ordered a large cappuccino, I swear the coffee was one swallowfull. The rest of this huge cup was foam. I asked myself what kind of hippy crap is this? I started to go back and complain but that obviously meant I would have to talk to Mr Drive Through Thing and worse yet some hippy manager to which I would rather contract diarrhea than do. So we left and went to another coffee shop, where I got a coffee from a girl that spoke English with a nice metre. Coffee in hand, we went back to The Love Boat for breakfast. I opened the refrigerator and the stupid door fell off. I swear it fell into the floor. By now I was wondering if I had blasphemed the chakra god or something. The huge screw that acts as a hinge had vibrated out. I picked up the stupid door and Deb helped me put it back on. Some days start better than others.
Our campground has a huge doggie park that Los Perritos are enjoying. Los Perritos have a big fenced-in yard at home and obviously miss it. Monty runs around barking in the doggie park something that we think translates into "oh boy". He doesn't do that at home, but he is vacation so I guess it is alright. Deb took them to the doggie park last night about 10:30pm, and I heard Monty from The Love Boat. Monty was determined to have fun regardless of the hour, and he wanted the whole park to know of his fun. Deb told him to hush and he did just that. I wish Deb could do that for those Occupy nitwits. Los Perritos slept well last night being tired from running around playing Roadrunner and Coyote but where the Roadrunner gets caught by the coyote and chomps on the Roadrunner's tail. Anyway, Los Perritos are having fun--finally.
We went to White Sands Missile Base today. There is a museum there which was closed, but we got to walk around in their missile display and boy was that something. On display was a prototype of Fatboy which were the A-bombs dropped on Japan. Deb and I were enthralled with the display. We were also told that five rattlesnakes were found in the display yesterday. So, Deb kept watch for snakes. I, however, was not concerned since I live in NC, and we have a democrat governor which is far worse than a rattlesnake. I heard there is a tour of the area where surface A-bomb testing was performed decades ago. We didn't have the time during this visit but likely will when we return in January. Oh boy. We left the missile base and went to White Sands Monument.
White Sands Monument is actually part of the missile base but yet a national park. The park's sand looks like snow drifts which gives it the name. The white comes from gypsum and really reminded me of Myrtle Beach, SC. We got out and walked around this huge park and climb up on some dunes. The park is sixty miles from Las Cruces and in the middle of nowhere.
Tomorrow we will be back on the road to California. Even though we are within one day's drive, we will stay in Quartsite, AZ overnight so we can arrive in Palm Springs during the daylight hours. Quartsite is an armpit town on the AZ/CA border full of characters. So, tomorrow should be fun.
Al
Our campground has a huge doggie park that Los Perritos are enjoying. Los Perritos have a big fenced-in yard at home and obviously miss it. Monty runs around barking in the doggie park something that we think translates into "oh boy". He doesn't do that at home, but he is vacation so I guess it is alright. Deb took them to the doggie park last night about 10:30pm, and I heard Monty from The Love Boat. Monty was determined to have fun regardless of the hour, and he wanted the whole park to know of his fun. Deb told him to hush and he did just that. I wish Deb could do that for those Occupy nitwits. Los Perritos slept well last night being tired from running around playing Roadrunner and Coyote but where the Roadrunner gets caught by the coyote and chomps on the Roadrunner's tail. Anyway, Los Perritos are having fun--finally.
We went to White Sands Missile Base today. There is a museum there which was closed, but we got to walk around in their missile display and boy was that something. On display was a prototype of Fatboy which were the A-bombs dropped on Japan. Deb and I were enthralled with the display. We were also told that five rattlesnakes were found in the display yesterday. So, Deb kept watch for snakes. I, however, was not concerned since I live in NC, and we have a democrat governor which is far worse than a rattlesnake. I heard there is a tour of the area where surface A-bomb testing was performed decades ago. We didn't have the time during this visit but likely will when we return in January. Oh boy. We left the missile base and went to White Sands Monument.
White Sands Monument is actually part of the missile base but yet a national park. The park's sand looks like snow drifts which gives it the name. The white comes from gypsum and really reminded me of Myrtle Beach, SC. We got out and walked around this huge park and climb up on some dunes. The park is sixty miles from Las Cruces and in the middle of nowhere.
Tomorrow we will be back on the road to California. Even though we are within one day's drive, we will stay in Quartsite, AZ overnight so we can arrive in Palm Springs during the daylight hours. Quartsite is an armpit town on the AZ/CA border full of characters. So, tomorrow should be fun.
Al
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Las Cruces, NM Sandstorm, Pig Heads, Sshshhshshh Nov 26, 2011
Oh my what a day today was. We left Abilene, TX at about 8am and immediately became aware of the wind. The wind was coming from our side at 35 MPH and gusting to 55 MPH. I got those numbers via the weather radio. The wind would push us very quickly to the side, and I was worried we would flip over with a large gust, so we had to slow down. As we adjusted to the wind, the tumbleweeds started blowing across the interstate, and we dodged the tumbleweeds like we were playing Pacman. Oh this went on for about 25 miles then the ugly part started. The wind made a dust storm that lasted for over 150 miles. Visibility was about 500 feet for a 100 miles and 100 feet or less for over 50 miles. The limited visibility meant that we might hit something or be hit by something. I have been in sandstorms before but not one of this magnitude. What a day. We stopped for gas at a truck stop and The Love Boat and The Crapper were covered in dust. Tomorrow I plan on checking the engine's air filter and replacing it. Oh man what a storm.
I should have started this entry with where we are. We are in Las Cruces which is about 800 miles or so from Palm Springs. We are staying here tomorrow and leaving for Palm Springs on Monday. We are now on Interstate 10. We left home on Interstate 40, then we left Little Rock on Interstate 30, then transferred somewhere to Interstate 20, and finally wound up on Interstate 10. If my calculations are correct, we should be on Interstate 0 on Monday and Interstate -10 on Tuesday. Oh before I forget, gasoline was $2.97 in several places in Texas which is considerably cheaper than when we left Raleigh. Alright, enough with this nonsense, let's get down to the funny stuff.
We took a little trip to Walmart for water and food. I am sorry to say that no pig heads were in the freezer there like the last visit to Las Cruces. Los Perritos (The Puppies) are heartbroken. If you remember from our last visit 2 years ago, Walmart had an entire freezer section of pig heads. I understand Mexicans use the pig heads to cook some kind of food like tamales during the holidays. I am venturing a guess it was for New Years which would explain Walmart being pig headless. Los Perritos wanted to run around the campground with the pig heads as Halloween masks and trick or treat with them. I guess it will have to wait until we come through again in January. Poor Puppies.
We went out to dinner at a place in the historic part of Las Cruces tonight. The name of the place is regardless, but what happened while we were waiting to be seated was amazing. The wait time was about 15 minutes, and we waited with several other people. One woman was seated with her 18 month old daughter, her mother, and a few other family members. The kid was squealing laughing like kids can do. At some point the kid dropped her pacifier on the floor of the restaurant. The grandmother picked up the "binky" and licked it clean and put it into the kid's mouth. Nasty. I'm not sure what was worse the nastiness from the floor or the grandmother's spit all over it. Any woman that would lick something "clean" that was dropped on the floor of a restaurant would stick dern near anything into her mouth. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Nasty. I'll bet that woman had a BO for president bumpersticker on her car. We are not in Texas anymore. Nasty woman.
When we stopped for gas today, we decided to eat at the Denny's restaurant at the truck stop. We were in a sandstorm and couldn't exactly see anyplace else to stop. We went into the restaurant and were seated. The waitress walked up to us about 15 minutes later and said, "Shhssahhh shhesss shssses ssshhddd". Deb and I looked at each other and tried to tell if the other understood what she said. Deb told her she wanted a glass of water, and I thought it was a good idea and said me too. The waitress said, "Sshhhehh shhhsshhhs shhhshshhs" and left and went somewhere. Evidently the waitress understood what we said and returned a day or two later with a couple water glasses. She said, "Shhhsshs shshshhh shhsheheh" and Deb and I looked at each other again. By now I thought she was Apache or somesuch and was communicating to us in Apache talk or something. Deb thought she had destroyed her brain eating Indian fry bread or something. Deb took the lead and told her she wanted something breakfast like and the waitress said, "Shhhhsh shhhshshs shhhssh" each time Deb stopped talking for a second or two. I then extrapolated that I should order my food when the waitress looked at me and said, "Shhshshhh shshshhh shshshshs" at me. I told her I wanted an apple pecan salad that was on the menu. The waitress said, "Shshhshh shsshhhs balsamic shshhsshsh"? Notice the question mark at the end or what she said? I figured she was asking if I wanted the balsamic vinegar salad dressing that was on the menu. So I said yes. The waitress went back to what I believe was the kitchen but it could have been the democrat convention headquarters for all I know. A day or two later the waitress comes back with our food and she put the salad in front of me along with a cereal bowl full of balsamic vinegar salad dressing. I am not kidding, you could float a portion of Cherrios in that bowl of salad dressing. I looked up at Deb, then the waitress, then back at the cereal bowl of salad dressing. The waitress said, "Shhshs shhsshhh shshhsh" and departed for the democrat convention headquarters again. I guess truck drivers get all cranky if they can't float Cheerios in their salad dressing or something. But guess this, the dressing was really sweet like sugar had been added to it. Great Ceasar's ghost. I would have asked the waitress what I was supposed to do with a fishbowl of sweet dressing, but I figured I wouldn't understand her anyway. So, I counted my blessings and decided it wasn't all bad because it didn't have any sand in it which that fact alone was amazing with all that sand blowing around in the parking lot and half of Texas.
See Yall tomorrow.
Al
I should have started this entry with where we are. We are in Las Cruces which is about 800 miles or so from Palm Springs. We are staying here tomorrow and leaving for Palm Springs on Monday. We are now on Interstate 10. We left home on Interstate 40, then we left Little Rock on Interstate 30, then transferred somewhere to Interstate 20, and finally wound up on Interstate 10. If my calculations are correct, we should be on Interstate 0 on Monday and Interstate -10 on Tuesday. Oh before I forget, gasoline was $2.97 in several places in Texas which is considerably cheaper than when we left Raleigh. Alright, enough with this nonsense, let's get down to the funny stuff.
We took a little trip to Walmart for water and food. I am sorry to say that no pig heads were in the freezer there like the last visit to Las Cruces. Los Perritos (The Puppies) are heartbroken. If you remember from our last visit 2 years ago, Walmart had an entire freezer section of pig heads. I understand Mexicans use the pig heads to cook some kind of food like tamales during the holidays. I am venturing a guess it was for New Years which would explain Walmart being pig headless. Los Perritos wanted to run around the campground with the pig heads as Halloween masks and trick or treat with them. I guess it will have to wait until we come through again in January. Poor Puppies.
We went out to dinner at a place in the historic part of Las Cruces tonight. The name of the place is regardless, but what happened while we were waiting to be seated was amazing. The wait time was about 15 minutes, and we waited with several other people. One woman was seated with her 18 month old daughter, her mother, and a few other family members. The kid was squealing laughing like kids can do. At some point the kid dropped her pacifier on the floor of the restaurant. The grandmother picked up the "binky" and licked it clean and put it into the kid's mouth. Nasty. I'm not sure what was worse the nastiness from the floor or the grandmother's spit all over it. Any woman that would lick something "clean" that was dropped on the floor of a restaurant would stick dern near anything into her mouth. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Nasty. I'll bet that woman had a BO for president bumpersticker on her car. We are not in Texas anymore. Nasty woman.
When we stopped for gas today, we decided to eat at the Denny's restaurant at the truck stop. We were in a sandstorm and couldn't exactly see anyplace else to stop. We went into the restaurant and were seated. The waitress walked up to us about 15 minutes later and said, "Shhssahhh shhesss shssses ssshhddd". Deb and I looked at each other and tried to tell if the other understood what she said. Deb told her she wanted a glass of water, and I thought it was a good idea and said me too. The waitress said, "Sshhhehh shhhsshhhs shhhshshhs" and left and went somewhere. Evidently the waitress understood what we said and returned a day or two later with a couple water glasses. She said, "Shhhsshs shshshhh shhsheheh" and Deb and I looked at each other again. By now I thought she was Apache or somesuch and was communicating to us in Apache talk or something. Deb thought she had destroyed her brain eating Indian fry bread or something. Deb took the lead and told her she wanted something breakfast like and the waitress said, "Shhhhsh shhhshshs shhhssh" each time Deb stopped talking for a second or two. I then extrapolated that I should order my food when the waitress looked at me and said, "Shhshshhh shshshhh shshshshs" at me. I told her I wanted an apple pecan salad that was on the menu. The waitress said, "Shshhshh shsshhhs balsamic shshhsshsh"? Notice the question mark at the end or what she said? I figured she was asking if I wanted the balsamic vinegar salad dressing that was on the menu. So I said yes. The waitress went back to what I believe was the kitchen but it could have been the democrat convention headquarters for all I know. A day or two later the waitress comes back with our food and she put the salad in front of me along with a cereal bowl full of balsamic vinegar salad dressing. I am not kidding, you could float a portion of Cherrios in that bowl of salad dressing. I looked up at Deb, then the waitress, then back at the cereal bowl of salad dressing. The waitress said, "Shhshs shhsshhh shshhsh" and departed for the democrat convention headquarters again. I guess truck drivers get all cranky if they can't float Cheerios in their salad dressing or something. But guess this, the dressing was really sweet like sugar had been added to it. Great Ceasar's ghost. I would have asked the waitress what I was supposed to do with a fishbowl of sweet dressing, but I figured I wouldn't understand her anyway. So, I counted my blessings and decided it wasn't all bad because it didn't have any sand in it which that fact alone was amazing with all that sand blowing around in the parking lot and half of Texas.
See Yall tomorrow.
Al
Friday, November 25, 2011
Abilene, Texas Cedar Trees, Idjits, Signs in Spanish Nov 25, 2011
We are officially over halfway to California. We plan to slow down and spend an extra day in Las Cruces, NM so The Puppies (Los Perritos as they like being called now) can get pig heads and go trick or treating. If you don't know what that means, you should look up Las Cruces in the blogs archive from two years ago
We pulled into an RV park which is very similar to many RV parks that we have visited. This one is really near the interstate, and as I write this I can clearly hear the traffic from the interstate that is 75 feet from The Love Boat. I am not kidding we are about 75 feet from the interstate. When we pulled into the park, Deb went in to register and the lady assigned us a campsite a couple up from us on this row closest to the interstate. Deb told her that the noise would be a problem, so the woman said she would put us behind the cedar trees instead. It turns out all of the "pull through" sites are in the row next to the interstate. Anyway, RV Park Genius woman actually thought it would be less noisy if a couple twenty foot cedar trees separated us from the road. Well duhhh. Deb came back to the RV and told me what the woman said, and I wanted to go in and ask her when her shift with the Occupy Abilene nitwits was scheduled. Good lord where do these people hatch?
While driving here today, we stopped into a truck stop to take on fuel or get gas as you landlubbers say. When I turned in I immediately noticed that I couldn't get out without some serious maneuvering of The Love Boat. I should stop here and explain that The Love Boat is 33 feet long and has 16 feet of car and trailer hitch behind it. The Love Boat takes lots of space to maneuver, and this truck stop had very little space since this was where the cars get gas and there were 4011 million cars playing Chinese Fire Drills all over the place. To make matters far worse, the pumps were pumping very slowly forcing me to block an entrance. The dam broke or something and idjits (for my Canadian friends idjit is a cross between and idiot and a jit whatever a jit is) were all over the place cutting between us and the car ahead (6 feet if that) and climbing over the bushes behind us trying to get around The Love Boat. Normally I would have felt bad blocking an entrance to this place but I was trapped and couldn't back up. However, to my defense, there were two other entrances and exits directly beside the blocked entrance that the idjits didn't want to use for some reason. I thought it was because I had the idjit entrance blocked and the idjits could only go and come by that entrance. The situation was so stupid that I thought about getting out a copy of The Democrat Gazette from Arkansas and going over and smacking the idjits on the nose with the rolled up newpaper--if you want to call that a newspaper. When I finally did make it to the pump (15 minutes elapsed) the pump took 20 minutes to fill the tanks. As miracles or luck would happen as we readied to leave, God parted the Great Sea of Idjits to which I cast off anchors and maneuvered The Love Boat amongst the remaining idjits. We were out in 3 minutes or less. Oh what a fun time was had by all. I would rather slide down a sandpaper coated sliding board into a vat of turpentine than try that again.
I noticed something else today. Signs along the interstate in Spanish I can read. Go figure. I was reading them and didn't realize I was reading them. Spanish classes are paying off. I have a long way to go but am happy for what I have learned.
We should be in Las Cruces, NM tomorrow if all goes well. Deb wants to spend a day there exploring and Los Perritos (The Puppies) want to trick or treat with their pig heads if Walmart has them. I need to find another pair of longhorn steer horns to mount on the front of The Love Boat, so it actually would be nice to stop for another day in Las Cruces. If you remember from our last trip out, Las Cruces has an RV park there with extremely expensive motorhomes. This was the place that we met the couple with the $2,000,000 motorhome. Las Cruces means crosses in Spanish so I wonder where the name came from? We shall see.
Adios amigos. Hasta luego.
Al
We pulled into an RV park which is very similar to many RV parks that we have visited. This one is really near the interstate, and as I write this I can clearly hear the traffic from the interstate that is 75 feet from The Love Boat. I am not kidding we are about 75 feet from the interstate. When we pulled into the park, Deb went in to register and the lady assigned us a campsite a couple up from us on this row closest to the interstate. Deb told her that the noise would be a problem, so the woman said she would put us behind the cedar trees instead. It turns out all of the "pull through" sites are in the row next to the interstate. Anyway, RV Park Genius woman actually thought it would be less noisy if a couple twenty foot cedar trees separated us from the road. Well duhhh. Deb came back to the RV and told me what the woman said, and I wanted to go in and ask her when her shift with the Occupy Abilene nitwits was scheduled. Good lord where do these people hatch?
While driving here today, we stopped into a truck stop to take on fuel or get gas as you landlubbers say. When I turned in I immediately noticed that I couldn't get out without some serious maneuvering of The Love Boat. I should stop here and explain that The Love Boat is 33 feet long and has 16 feet of car and trailer hitch behind it. The Love Boat takes lots of space to maneuver, and this truck stop had very little space since this was where the cars get gas and there were 4011 million cars playing Chinese Fire Drills all over the place. To make matters far worse, the pumps were pumping very slowly forcing me to block an entrance. The dam broke or something and idjits (for my Canadian friends idjit is a cross between and idiot and a jit whatever a jit is) were all over the place cutting between us and the car ahead (6 feet if that) and climbing over the bushes behind us trying to get around The Love Boat. Normally I would have felt bad blocking an entrance to this place but I was trapped and couldn't back up. However, to my defense, there were two other entrances and exits directly beside the blocked entrance that the idjits didn't want to use for some reason. I thought it was because I had the idjit entrance blocked and the idjits could only go and come by that entrance. The situation was so stupid that I thought about getting out a copy of The Democrat Gazette from Arkansas and going over and smacking the idjits on the nose with the rolled up newpaper--if you want to call that a newspaper. When I finally did make it to the pump (15 minutes elapsed) the pump took 20 minutes to fill the tanks. As miracles or luck would happen as we readied to leave, God parted the Great Sea of Idjits to which I cast off anchors and maneuvered The Love Boat amongst the remaining idjits. We were out in 3 minutes or less. Oh what a fun time was had by all. I would rather slide down a sandpaper coated sliding board into a vat of turpentine than try that again.
I noticed something else today. Signs along the interstate in Spanish I can read. Go figure. I was reading them and didn't realize I was reading them. Spanish classes are paying off. I have a long way to go but am happy for what I have learned.
We should be in Las Cruces, NM tomorrow if all goes well. Deb wants to spend a day there exploring and Los Perritos (The Puppies) want to trick or treat with their pig heads if Walmart has them. I need to find another pair of longhorn steer horns to mount on the front of The Love Boat, so it actually would be nice to stop for another day in Las Cruces. If you remember from our last trip out, Las Cruces has an RV park there with extremely expensive motorhomes. This was the place that we met the couple with the $2,000,000 motorhome. Las Cruces means crosses in Spanish so I wonder where the name came from? We shall see.
Adios amigos. Hasta luego.
Al
Benton, Arkansas Goats, libbbbrrllls, Country Dogs, 24 Nov 2011
We made it Benton, Arkansas today. Benton is a tiny town an hour south of Little Rock and an hour north of Hope, AR which was made sort of famous by William Jefferson Clinton as his birthplace (more on this subject later). Benton has an "RV Park" that is owned by a really nice man. He is very friendly but that doesn't excuse the fact his "RV Park" is a dump. After we drove into the "RV Park" the owner took us to meet his brand new baby goats. They are cute or at least Deb thinks so, however, I think they all looked like a bunch of dern libbrrlls (yes I know the word is supposed tovbe spelled liberal). They (goats not Deb and the RV guy) looked funny, smelled, and when asked what they would do to our economy, they answered, " Baaaaaaadddddddddd". Deb had fun talking baby talk to the goats just like she does to real libbbrrrllls and other creatures of limited intelligence. But the puppies had no use for the goats at all because The Puppies are city dogs and farm animals all look like libbbrrrlllls to them too. Here are a couple pictures from today. The first is The Love Boat docked next to trailer that has not moved in a while. The second is of our neighbor sporting his new Black Friday outfit from The Dirty Nasty Leasurewear Store.
So after docking The Love Boat, Deb, The Puppies, and The Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy went for a walk down the road which amounted to nothing more than a busy road with houses with country dogs running around the yards off leash. The Puppies learned quickly that country dogs aren't like city dogs in that the country dogs bark then actually want to bite something. City dogs do a lot of barking but no biting because it is fun or something. Anyway, the country dogs would bark and then haul their country dog butt down within biting distance of The Puppies. That didn't go over well with The Puppies and likely will give them nightmares. But they had fun, and they got to pee on lots of stuff in Arkansas which I later helped them do after I found something out.
Remember I said Clinton grew up just south of Benton? Deb wanted to go see the rock that Clinton was hatched under, but I would rather go lose half my brain and join those Occupy nitwits in downtown Raleigh--my big ole hairy butt. With Clinton's birthplace so close, and with the evidence on newspaper box that I photographed during our walk, I think that I am in the democrat's lair. You decide for yourself:
I knew it. Now I'm going to have The Love Boat and The Puppies powerwashed because I am sure that libbrrrrllll got all over them. Just to be sure that is wasn't a pratical joke or something, I immediately bought two copies of this newspaper that I refused to read. One copy of the newspaper is for the dogs to poop on and the other to use to cover it up. Who ever came up with the name for that newspaper wasn't thinking. Most democrats that I know can't read and the ones that can are moving their lips as they read this.
By now you libbrrrrllls that read this blog (please quit moving your lips) pretty much have your panties all bunched up. I promise to lighten up on libbbrrrllllls really soon, but what do you expect with me surrounded by this stuff. I predict the entry for tomorrow will be different as we will be in Texas somewhere and Texas is not know for libbrrrrlls. Bye for now.
Al
So after docking The Love Boat, Deb, The Puppies, and The Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy went for a walk down the road which amounted to nothing more than a busy road with houses with country dogs running around the yards off leash. The Puppies learned quickly that country dogs aren't like city dogs in that the country dogs bark then actually want to bite something. City dogs do a lot of barking but no biting because it is fun or something. Anyway, the country dogs would bark and then haul their country dog butt down within biting distance of The Puppies. That didn't go over well with The Puppies and likely will give them nightmares. But they had fun, and they got to pee on lots of stuff in Arkansas which I later helped them do after I found something out.
Remember I said Clinton grew up just south of Benton? Deb wanted to go see the rock that Clinton was hatched under, but I would rather go lose half my brain and join those Occupy nitwits in downtown Raleigh--my big ole hairy butt. With Clinton's birthplace so close, and with the evidence on newspaper box that I photographed during our walk, I think that I am in the democrat's lair. You decide for yourself:
WiI knew it. Now I'm going to have The Love Boat and The Puppies powerwashed because I am sure that libbrrrrllll got all over them. Just to be sure that is wasn't a pratical joke or something, I immediately bought two copies of this newspaper that I refused to read. One copy of the newspaper is for the dogs to poop on and the other to use to cover it up. Who ever came up with the name for that newspaper wasn't thinking. Most democrats that I know can't read and the ones that can are moving their lips as they read this.
By now you libbrrrrllls that read this blog (please quit moving your lips) pretty much have your panties all bunched up. I promise to lighten up on libbbrrrllllls really soon, but what do you expect with me surrounded by this stuff. I predict the entry for tomorrow will be different as we will be in Texas somewhere and Texas is not know for libbrrrrlls. Bye for now.
Al
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Nashville, Godzilla, Camo clothing, and Rumble Strips Nov 23, 2011
Hello from Nashville, TN. We arrived in Nashville around 4pm. It was a challenge sharing the road with so many lovely and kind people heading to Grandma's house. I noticed something today. Why is it that every car in Tennessee is missing wheelcovers? Is someone stealing them or is it a fashion statement? I thought about a slogan today for Tennessee. Do you remember the slogan, "Gee no GTE"? Right? Well, for Tennessee the jingle becomes "Oh Geez no Tennessee". The roads today were full of scary looking camo clothed people with scary looking camoed little varmints riding in the backseat. If Godzilla and Megalon conceived a "love child" it would reside in Tennessee. I half expected some of the children in some of these cars to turn to me and say, "GAAAAAAKKKKKKK" and shoot fire and a deathray from their camoed mouths at The Loveboat. The interstates had big, electronic signs over the roads with this saying, "Buckle up, it's the law". Well that is plain stupid. Godzilla and Megalon know how to buckle their stupid seatbelts. Why don't they put something useful on that stupid electronic board like, "Brush your dern teeth Idjit" or "Quit siring varmints with your cousins". Am I the only person that sees this.
Monty is having trouble again with The Loveboat rolling over rumble strips along the edge of the road. You know the tires make a, "Brrrrrttttppppptttp" sound when you stray off the tarmac. Every time I drifted a little onto those strips and the tires made the "Brrrppptttttp" sound, Monty (1/2 of The Puppies) would lose his mind and jump into Deb's lap. I think he is having flash backs from Nam or somesuch. Brrrrttttpp, "Incoming 155 Horwitzers jump into the foxholes boys." Only Deb was the foxhole.
That is all for today. I am tired and will elaborate more tomorrow. We should be in Texas somewhere tomorrow.
Al
Monty is having trouble again with The Loveboat rolling over rumble strips along the edge of the road. You know the tires make a, "Brrrrrttttppppptttp" sound when you stray off the tarmac. Every time I drifted a little onto those strips and the tires made the "Brrrppptttttp" sound, Monty (1/2 of The Puppies) would lose his mind and jump into Deb's lap. I think he is having flash backs from Nam or somesuch. Brrrrttttpp, "Incoming 155 Horwitzers jump into the foxholes boys." Only Deb was the foxhole.
That is all for today. I am tired and will elaborate more tomorrow. We should be in Texas somewhere tomorrow.
Al
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thought for the day--Raleigh, NC Nov 21, 2011
We had Chinese food for dinner tonight, and my fortune cookie said, "He who seeks finds." That saying bounced around inside the hollow shell of my head and emerged as "He who seeks finds but he who uses a stud finder seeks less". This has been your thought for the day.
Well, we are not on the road yet. Deb and I got simultaneous viruses that left us laying flat for a few days. After the bed phase, the yucky stage set in and so here we are. Needless to say, even though I'm going to anyway, we got behind in our work and are still in Raleigh. We will likely leave mañana or miércoles.
In case you didn't notice that was Spanish in the last sentence. Yours truly is taking Spanish lessons and doing fair at it. Spanish is a little easier to understand than Yankee. I really have no desire to learn Yankee unlike Spanish. The reason that I am learning Spanish is to be able to survive on my own for five weeks in 2013 as I walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I know what you're thinking, "Why is a big ole dumb Southern boy going to walk 500 miles in northern Spain." Here is where you try to guess what I'm thinking. Go ahead, guess. I am concentrating really hard. I just read your mind, "He has lost his mind?" No that is not the case, I never had a mind to lose. I plan to tell you pieces of the reason over the next two months. Quit whining, I'll get to it later.
Speaking of later, I've been working on The Love Boat (our motorhome) over the last couple weeks, and it is sparkling and ready to go. We have tried diligently to buy The Diesel Love Boat but have not been able to do so. The Love Boat has a gas engine and a diesel engine would allow us (read Deb) to carry more useful item (junk) easier across the country. Actually, I want a diesel to make driving easier in mountainous terrain. The Love Boat slows down fairly slow in steep hill climbs. I've dreamed about a motorhome that can climb mountains as fast as John Edwards can climb skanks. We had about as much success finding a motorhome as John Edwards has had trying to convince us that he didn't use campaign funds trying to hide his skank mistress. Deb and I will eventually find a motorhome, but John Edwards is destined to join Martha Stewart's bunkmates in Club Lockdown soon. I really enjoyed the parallel in this paragraph almost as much as I have enjoyed telling idiots that voted for BO that BO's fiefdom will soon end.
We plan to leave mañana (I'm teasing you here) but will likely leave Wednesday (miércoles) morning. Hasta luego amigos.
Al, Deb, and The Puppies (Los Perritos)
Well, we are not on the road yet. Deb and I got simultaneous viruses that left us laying flat for a few days. After the bed phase, the yucky stage set in and so here we are. Needless to say, even though I'm going to anyway, we got behind in our work and are still in Raleigh. We will likely leave mañana or miércoles.
In case you didn't notice that was Spanish in the last sentence. Yours truly is taking Spanish lessons and doing fair at it. Spanish is a little easier to understand than Yankee. I really have no desire to learn Yankee unlike Spanish. The reason that I am learning Spanish is to be able to survive on my own for five weeks in 2013 as I walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain. I know what you're thinking, "Why is a big ole dumb Southern boy going to walk 500 miles in northern Spain." Here is where you try to guess what I'm thinking. Go ahead, guess. I am concentrating really hard. I just read your mind, "He has lost his mind?" No that is not the case, I never had a mind to lose. I plan to tell you pieces of the reason over the next two months. Quit whining, I'll get to it later.
Speaking of later, I've been working on The Love Boat (our motorhome) over the last couple weeks, and it is sparkling and ready to go. We have tried diligently to buy The Diesel Love Boat but have not been able to do so. The Love Boat has a gas engine and a diesel engine would allow us (read Deb) to carry more useful item (junk) easier across the country. Actually, I want a diesel to make driving easier in mountainous terrain. The Love Boat slows down fairly slow in steep hill climbs. I've dreamed about a motorhome that can climb mountains as fast as John Edwards can climb skanks. We had about as much success finding a motorhome as John Edwards has had trying to convince us that he didn't use campaign funds trying to hide his skank mistress. Deb and I will eventually find a motorhome, but John Edwards is destined to join Martha Stewart's bunkmates in Club Lockdown soon. I really enjoyed the parallel in this paragraph almost as much as I have enjoyed telling idiots that voted for BO that BO's fiefdom will soon end.
We plan to leave mañana (I'm teasing you here) but will likely leave Wednesday (miércoles) morning. Hasta luego amigos.
Al, Deb, and The Puppies (Los Perritos)
Saturday, November 12, 2011
More upcoming trip Raleigh, NC Nov 11, 2011
Dude, it has been cold or rather wet and cold. The older I get the less I like the cold. This is where you say something like, "You want some cheese and crackers with your whine?" No really, it has been cold and wet. I was outside today installing a new Waterpump 9000 today into The Love Boat, and I had to wear a heavy coat. Geez Louise. Anyway, I got Waterpump 9000 installed and it makes the faucets squirt water like BO (head of the democrat party and yes the small case d in democrat is intended) squirts nonsense like, "Yes we can or rather yes we told you we could, but we knew we never could and accordingly can't". Oh baby, I got the democrat joke in really fast this time. Anyway, the Waterpump 9000 does a grand job or pumping water from the fresh water holding tank to the faucets and stuff onboard The Love Boat. Before we had Waterpump -9000 installed, and it was about useless. Now that I have captivated you and applied grandiose plumbing science, I think that I should talk about our trip some. Right? Right.
Our current plans have us going through Nashville and turning southwest in Little Rock, Arkansas to avoid having to cross upper Arizona and New Mexico. You may remember the last trip to Califunknia, we crossed the plateau west of Santa Fe and barely avoided a bad winter storm. You landlubbers with 4 wheeled cars wouldn't pay much attention to the snow, but The Love Boat slips and slides a bunch easier than big 18 wheeler trucks and small cars. So, we aim to avoid the whole situation and go through Dallas, lower AZ, and NM. Yada, yada, yada. Whine, whine, whine.
We took The Puppies for a long walk tonight in the cold air, and I do believe they love this weather. The Puppies are sporting the latest in Keeshond outerwear and tolerate the cold quite nicely. I would say a lot nicer that Big Ole Dumb Southern Boys. Speaking of walking, Deb and I are planning to walk The Camino de Santiago. in Spain in 2013. I plan to walk all 500 miles of it, and Deb will join me for a week or two. I guess I will take about 5 weeks to walk "The Camino". The Camino has been around for 1100 years, and I just got around to it. I've known about The Camino all of my adult life but haven't had the opportunity to walk it. I can honestly say that it will be an adventure, and no The Love Boat will stay at home for that trip. I wont elaborate more on that trip as you can Google it and get all kinds of insomniac relief information on it. Let's just say that The Camino is a pilgrimage, and no I won't have to wear a big hat and Deb won't have to cook for Indians on that trip.
I'll update the blog in a couple days.
Our current plans have us going through Nashville and turning southwest in Little Rock, Arkansas to avoid having to cross upper Arizona and New Mexico. You may remember the last trip to Califunknia, we crossed the plateau west of Santa Fe and barely avoided a bad winter storm. You landlubbers with 4 wheeled cars wouldn't pay much attention to the snow, but The Love Boat slips and slides a bunch easier than big 18 wheeler trucks and small cars. So, we aim to avoid the whole situation and go through Dallas, lower AZ, and NM. Yada, yada, yada. Whine, whine, whine.
We took The Puppies for a long walk tonight in the cold air, and I do believe they love this weather. The Puppies are sporting the latest in Keeshond outerwear and tolerate the cold quite nicely. I would say a lot nicer that Big Ole Dumb Southern Boys. Speaking of walking, Deb and I are planning to walk The Camino de Santiago. in Spain in 2013. I plan to walk all 500 miles of it, and Deb will join me for a week or two. I guess I will take about 5 weeks to walk "The Camino". The Camino has been around for 1100 years, and I just got around to it. I've known about The Camino all of my adult life but haven't had the opportunity to walk it. I can honestly say that it will be an adventure, and no The Love Boat will stay at home for that trip. I wont elaborate more on that trip as you can Google it and get all kinds of insomniac relief information on it. Let's just say that The Camino is a pilgrimage, and no I won't have to wear a big hat and Deb won't have to cook for Indians on that trip.
I'll update the blog in a couple days.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Upcoming cross country trip Nov 5, 2011 Raleigh, NC
I'll bet you thought I forgot about you? Well, I did. Guess what is going to happen soon? Go ahead guess. You guessed correctly if you said a cross country trip. We leave in a couple weeks for Palm Springs, CA for a month or whatever time period in which we get good and tired of living in a motorhome. Some of the people that read the blog will remember the last trip to California where Walter had a close encounter with pig heads in Austin, TX, my chakara in Sedona, AZ, the yack hatted hippie idiots in Santa Fe, the trailer park in Palm Springs (oh God I still have nightmares of that place), and Dallas Cowboy's Stadium. Gosh, I think I hit the good parts. Anyway, we are returning to GranolaLand but we are not staying in that awful trailer park. Long time readers remember the names that I gave to our stuff. You know the names, The Love Boat (our motorhome), The Crapper (our PT Cruiser towed car), The Puppies (our dogs Monty and Riley), Deb (my wife The Bleach Bottle Blond/ Chinese novelty), and myself (globe trotting Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy). I would have mentioned Walter (our friend and sidekick in motorhome navigation), but he discovered women (Melissa a nice young lady as opposed to Walter is not a nice young lady) and a job with a boss that has no sense of humor. Maybe Walter and Melissa will factor into this trip somewhere. Oh goody a mystery. We shall see. Did you notice how many parentheses that I used? I like parentheses.
This trip will cover a few new places. The thought of me having to put with hippies again didn't sit well with me. Actually, the thought of me being stranded in snowy Santa Fe with all of those hippies is what didn't sit well with me. As you know I have little use for hippies which comes from my Post Traumatic Hippy Syndrome (PTHS) when I was a soldier and hippies came up to me in the airport (when I was in uniform) and called me a baby killer and spat on me which really upset my chakara. Boo hoo water the hippy nightmare flowers. Anyway, we are planning to take a new route this time with a few places and unique people that I can talk about. I am giddy as a school girl just thinking of the possibilities.
Al, Deb, and The Puppies
This trip will cover a few new places. The thought of me having to put with hippies again didn't sit well with me. Actually, the thought of me being stranded in snowy Santa Fe with all of those hippies is what didn't sit well with me. As you know I have little use for hippies which comes from my Post Traumatic Hippy Syndrome (PTHS) when I was a soldier and hippies came up to me in the airport (when I was in uniform) and called me a baby killer and spat on me which really upset my chakara. Boo hoo water the hippy nightmare flowers. Anyway, we are planning to take a new route this time with a few places and unique people that I can talk about. I am giddy as a school girl just thinking of the possibilities.
Al, Deb, and The Puppies
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