My routine here in Naicam is about the same, I get up, shave, bathe, and put on Saskatchewan Aftershave. Saskatchewan Aftershave is commonly called Deepwoods Off Insect Repellent. Good Lord, mosquitoes are the provincial bird here and are plentiful. If you stand still without bug spray more than five seconds, the mosquitoes will suck out your brains and turn you into a democrat (little d is intended here). We all know we don't need more liberals, so I usually spray myself twice just in case.
Naicam, had a town homecoming this weekend. The planners had all kinds of activities scheduled but the most interesting event was the parade. The majorette that headed up the parade looked about eighty years old and was all decked out in a majorette's outfit. I'm pretty sure she made her outfit, because majorette outfits don't come with underwire bras and suphose. This woman was twirling and flipping and spinning like crazy which really impressed me. Now you haven't lived until you've seen a majorette that performed on The Mayflower. She really did a good job of twirling that baton. Really, I was impressed. But what do I know? Further in the parade, there was a float from the soccer club. It was a truck pulling a large farm trailer with a fence around it similar to what you would see on a sidewalk. Inside the fence were several kids kicking around a soccer ball. Yep, I said kids standing up kicking a soccer ball as part of the parade. I just knew the trailer would lunge and junior would do a half-gainer off over the fence and get ran over by the antique tractor that followed him in the precession. What was really horrible, was I waited through the entire parade and Santa was not at the end of it. That's how Deb got me to go by promising me that Santa was at the end of it. Fibber, fibber, fibber. Next time I want to drive one of those antique tractors. I could get a megaphone and speak Southern to crowd which would be entertaining to them I'm sure.
Another activity that I attended this weekend was a homecoming church service in Naicam's school auditorium. The service was pretty much a standard service that you would find in about any church in the US or Canada. What was really notable were two things. First there was a woman that sat behind me that sang really, really loud and poorly. The Bible says "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord" not "Make a grunting and dying gorilla call unto the Lord." Deb and I got to laughing so hard that I was afraid my mother-in-law was going to smack both of us on the back of our heads. I would like to smack the person that told that woman her moose mating calls were singing. Then it dawned on me. What a great joke to play . All you have to do is convince her that she is talented and should broadcast her yelping dog voice for the entire congregation. Then the jokester could set in the back row and laugh at the people wincing in agony that are sitting in front of Moose Mating Call Woman. Somebody played a brilliant joke on The Southern Boy. I'm just glad Monty and Riley were not there. They would have been howling along with Moose Mating Call Woman which would have earned them a smack from my mother-in-law too. The second thing that was notable about the service was that this auditorium had air conditioning and a rather robust air conditioner at that. The temperature was set to the Summer in the South setting instead of Summer in Canada setting. You have never heard so much complaining about being cold in your life. The only comfortable person in the whole auditorium was The Southern Boy, deaf but comfortable. I think air conditioner reform in Canada was setback years today. Then it dawned on me, the AC was part of the joke. What a brilliant prank.
We went to the local carwash tonight. It is located in the town called Spalding, SK which is a relatively short drive away. Now, you are wondering why I would mention a carwash. Right.? And the reason is that the carwash was located on a dirt road. A really dusty dirt road too. I had to think about the situation for a minute. If I washed the car, it would be wet and attract dirt from the road on the trip out which would negate the act of washing it. So, I washed it, and it emerged from the dirt road cleaner than when it entered. Who would have guessed that? Believe me, I tried to turn this paragraph into a democrat joke but couldn't. I'll try harder in the future.
Well that is all for today. I have other stuff to talk about but not today. Monty, Riley, and myself leave Naicam on Tuesday and pick up Walter for the trip home. I'm just sorry that I didn't record Moose Mating Call Woman so I could pull the same joke on Walter. Oh well, there will be other opportunities in the next couple of weeks.
I'll write more tomorrow if my hearing returns.
Al
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