Sunday, February 20, 2011

China, Russia, and Japan--Oh my Raleigh, NC Feb 21, 2011

Oh alright, I might as well update the blog. Ive been busy working on the this, that, and the other thing, The other thing part has kept me from getting anything done and from updating this blog. Actually, I haven't gone anywhere interesting anyway.

Guess what? We are headed for a cruise leaving from Shanghai then visiting Beijing, Vladivostok (Russia), and a couple places in Japan. We will be on the road for 2 weeks and on the water for most of it. This trip will certainly give me lots of funny stuff to write about. Keep an eye out for updates.

The adventure starts Feb 22, 2011.

I think I just lied to you. The adventure started a week ago. I went to the doctor (vet) to get the necessary immunizations that the fine folks in China wants us to have. One of the immunizations was a live vaccine for typhoid. Oh baby, here is where the adventure starts. I started the vaccine which is an oral tablet that I was supposed (note that I said supposed) to take every other day with 4 tablets taken total. Tablet number 1 gave me the worst case of the green apple trots a stupid, Southern boy can have. I sat in the bathroom adding to the democrats (little d used intentionally) national political agenda all afternoon and evening. Notice how I got my democrat joke in while discussing my bathroom habits. Dang, am I good or what? Anyway, while contributing to the democratic agenda, I didn't drink any liquids and dehydrated. I've heard of celebrities dehydrating but could never understand how that a person could dehydrate without being in the desert. Now I know how, the democrats are to blame. Well, I got up from my desk and went upstairs to bed. As I got to the bottom of the stairs I decided to pass out and fall backwards and landed on my head which might have been a good thing because I might have hurt something important had I not landed on my head. I came to when the paramedics arrived and took my sorry butt to the hospital. A CT scan and about 40 million liters of IV liquids later, I found out I had an alleged hairline crack of my skull and a tiny brain bleed. Did you notice I said liters thinking I would impress you with my knowledge of the metric system. Impressive huh? Anyway, a busted head and a brain bruise ain't nearly as horrible (or romantic if you're a vampire) as you might think but it happened. I spent a couple days being jabbed, prodded, and poked in the hospital then came home. Oh baby, head injuries cause some serious headaches. My head has hurt almost as bad this week as the week after BO got elected. Almost. I've been almost as nauseated too, but I've been nauseated really for the last two years thanks to the democrats. My head has been CT and MRI scanned, and I am happy to report that no poop was found in my head as accused of me by many people during the course of my life. I am not sure why they ever called me such a name but life is a mystery at times. I can honestly say that I have had my head examined and didn't vote for a single democrat. The idiots that elected BO need to have their heads examined too. I'll bet your bottom dollar the MRIs will show poop in their heads.

I usually travel with a dictionary of whatever language is spoken where I am going. I didn't have any luck with a Chinese dictionary. Well La De Da, Asia has different characters too. Duhh. I tried to look up words and not only couldn't say it but couldn't figure out the characters. Duhh, So, I bought an electronic dictionary that actually speaks the words and phrases along with displaying the characters. Now that thing is neat. It arrived in the mail a few days ago, and I took it out of the box and immediately started looking up nasty words. Just kidding, it was really only vulgar words however neither vulgar nor nasty were in the dictionary. I felt a little cheated because how am I supposed to describe democrats to Asians without using vulgar or nasty words? I guess I'll draw vulgar and nasty pictures instead. I'll figure it out and be a good diplomatic.

The blog is back on and stayed tuned to this station for updates. See you in a day or so.
Al

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