Geez, where do I start? How about with Vladivostok? Vladivostok, Russia used to be a strictly Russian military town and only persons that lived there and military could enter the town until 1992 or so. After visiting there I understand why they didn't allow people to see it. Vladivostok is like owning a moped. It's fun to ride but you don't want your friends to see you on it. Except Vladivostok isn't fun to ride, and you still don't want your friends to see you ride it. I remember this town from my army days, and it was "respected" for its military might. Today it is just mighty ugly. The Vladivostok women walked around in beautiful mink coats with short skirts and boots high enough to use for fly fishing. Where the women bought their clothes was a huge mystery as the stores in town were stocked with touristy junk. Vladivostok's oldest, multifloor department store, Gum, had the look, feel, and merchandise of Myrtle Beach's Gay Dolphin--bobbles and trinkets. Good Lord, Vladivostok sucked.
On the bus we took to Vladivostok from the ship, Deb and I were seated behind a couple from Austria, The Baron and The Countess or at least they thought they were. Deb saw The Countess' coat and reached forward and touched the coat and asked her if the fur was beaver. Well The Countess didn't care for that at all. The Baron stood and informed Deb that The Countess' coat, "...was worn by all of the Austrian women, shaved mink". Geez, that really put Deb in her place. On the way back from Vladivostok, Whiney girl was showing off her $200 new purchase of a fur hat that had flaps over each ear and a flap in front. You've likely seen police in this style hat. Whiney Girl's hat made her look like a Russian Barney Fife. Shoot she would be at home on The Red Green Show. Good times.
The gang, which consisted of The Nice California Couple, The Nice Canadian Couple, Deb, and Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy (me) toured via foot downtown Hakata today. Japan is truly civilized but the Japanese drive little clown cars that go beep, beep, beep and look about the size of toaster. They must wind the cars up in the morning and away they go all day. Anyway, we visited a few temples and shrines today. I won't explain the difference between a shrine and a temple other than to say The Baptists would say one was for indigenous heathens and the other was for the mainland heathens, neither of which understand fried chicken on a cosmic plane. During our tour, the gang visited one shrine that had a really cool shed out front that had a horse trough of sorts with bamboo baskets on long sticks that the folks would dip into the water and pour onto their hands to ceremoniously cleanse themselves. I guess you might call it holy water of sorts. The water got me to thinking that I should bring some of that holy water home to give John Edwards to cleanse away the stink from that skank with whom he sired the little democrat. Edwards might need to take a bath in it and gargle with it too. I've seen that skank and he's gonna need some holy soap. Yall thought I had forgotten how to tell democrat (no capitalization intended) jokes, didn't you? Well, I haven't.
Hiroshima is tomorrow and we will be heading home soon thereafter. We miss The Puppies and toilets that you don't pee on your shoes.
Al
No comments:
Post a Comment