Hi de ho Kmart shoppers, it has been a while. In case you didn't get the memo, we are on the way to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Yes, I can spell Saskatchewan easily. We are in Franfort, KY where KY means Kentucky not KY Jelly as in the world has been my personal proctologist except the world hasn't been using KY Jelly on me. Boo hoo water the flowers. In the coming weeks I will enlighten you more about the past couple weeks a little at a time so your head doesn't explode all over your monitor. But for now I shall pause my whining and get onto fun and games.
We left Raleighwood this morning about half past I don't give a rat's butt, because we left when I had been taught my hard earned lessons for the day. I believe it was about 9am, actually who know and who cares, it was half past a rat's butt. We drove until we got to Winston Salem where we stopped in a somewhat dangerous place and got some caffeine-free Cheerwine soda. Now I love Cheerwine because I am a boy (old boy but still a boy) that grew up with Cheerwine which is actually a softdrink that resembles a cherry coke or somesuch. Anyway, I like Cheerwine as I always have but can't get the caffiene-free version in Raleighwood because some nitwit marketing slug thinks Raleighwoodites need all the caffeine they can get. However, this Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy can't tolerate caffeine anymore because it makes parts of my body thump in pain almost as horribly as Teddy Kennedy's liquored up head the morning after car scuba diving in Lake Chappaquiddick. I am surely going to Hell after that last reference. Dang, I forgot where I was. Oh year, Cheerwine. Well, we stopped and bought the mamby pamby version of Cheerwine and The Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy is all happy again. Of course I had to put my life in peril to get it by walking through the parking lot of Winston Salem Crackwhore Pimp Central Food Lion's parking lot. Geez Louise. I am having one now sitting here is Frankfort, KY (Kentucky not KY Jelly).
Speaking of Frankfort, this place is between Lexington and Louisville, you know behind the big rock and left at where Cooter ran the gas station. I am told Frankfort is the capitol of Kentucky even though I can't remember from grade school which bohunk Cooterville in KY (dang there you go again, KY means Kentucky) is the truthful capitol. I ain't sure about where we are but I am sure that we are with some scary looking people. Cooterville must be a bright light in the sea of darkness for the scary human moths of the world. You know that saying about if you give a bunch of monkeys a bunch of computers the monkeys through sheer coincidence will eventually type out something important like the Constitution? Well the monkeys, scary looking monkeys mind you, are in this campground and they all have computers and they are trying to type out a blog like mine about Cooterville KY (don't make it say it again). I'll bet the monkeys will refer to Cooterville as Cootervillewood like the Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy. I'll bet the monkeys are trying to be all smartalecky like The Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy too. Dang monkeys. Stupid Cooterville. It only takes one monkey with one computer to write this blog. Stupid monkeys.
Tomorrow we are headed through St Louis and plan to stop and see the Arch. If my luck holds true then the dang Arch will fall on me, and I'll have to pay for it. The world's proctologists are everywhere. Why shouldn't Missouri (pronounced mizz zur ra not mizz zur e) be any different. Ooh no, they need to be different in MizzzurA. I'll bet the monkeys in this park worked overtime in MizzurA trying to find a stupid way to pronounce MizzurE.
I am going to sign off now and go to bed and dream about monkeys, KY Jelly, and Cooterville. We'll see what tomorrow brings. The day after we will be in Nebraska where Army Buddy lives.
Bye for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment