A friend brought his new significant other around this past weekend. We were working in his front yard when we decided we needed something from my house. So, my friend volunteered to drive his car to get the stuff from my house. So, the three of us got into this car. This friend is a reader of this blog and had gotten a bag of Circus Peanuts as a joke (I sure hope that is why the bag was in his car). He reached into the bag and held out a Circus Peanut to me knowing that I would say something ugly to him. Before I had a chance to say something, his new flame grabbed the Circus Peanut and took a bite out of it and said she loved them. I was horrified. I looked around for an airline barf bag but didn't find one. Gross. Now he knows for sure where her mouth has been.
As I often do, yesterday I was watching the CNN news while getting dressed. The news was the same old kind news program where there is ten seconds of news and fifty seconds of people crying. I prefer to listen to BBC because of the crying and mindless drivel. But I was watching CNN and dealing with the situation rather well. CNN is a favorite place for ambulance chasing lawyers to advertise for people to join some class action lawsuit against some worthy product. If you detect a hint of hatred for lawyers, and this were a game show, you would be going home with a brand new Kewpie doll. Geez, I forgot what I was saying. Anyway, I was watching CNN when an advertisement, by a ambulance chaser, came on wanting people to call this toll free number if they had taken this drug and had experienced kidney problems, stroke, or death. That line sort of bounced around in the void between my ears for a few seconds then I paid more attention to the advertisement. Sure enough, the blood suckers wanted people to call them that had experienced kidney problems, stroke, or DEATH. How does a dead person call a toll free number? I listened to the advertisement three times to make sure they wanted dead people to call. I guess dead people can't write down the number so they have to be told the toll free number multiple times. Man, I would love to meet the Einstein that came up with the content for that commercial. You betcha. This topic reminds me of a joke. What do you call 1000 lawyers marching into the ocean? Answer: a good start. I could just see Einstein The Lawyer leading the march too. I can only hope.
Walter and I were in Lowe's Home Improvement (a store like Home Depot for you Canadians) and was waiting in line to get to the register (till) when I noticed something new stacked beside the register. There was a large picture of a kid in a box similar to a tree house but the tree house was actually just a little larger than an eight year old kid. What was strange about the photo was that the treehouse looked a lot like an enclosed deer stand. The new product was a sheet of plywood material with camouflage paint on one side. Now rednecks can build treehouses for Little Johnny out of ready made camouflage material. It will save Bubba hours of hand painting the pattern onto Little Johnny's house. Bubba can spend more of his time doing enjoyable things like shooting all of the deer crossing signs in the state. I can just see Papa Redneck's toothless friends coming over and saying, " Whoo weee. That's a smart looking tree house you got there Little Johnny. We're going to have to get you a beer fridge for that treehouse." I pondered the Redneck plywood for a couple minutes and decided should I buy some it, and laid it in the grass, how would I ever find again? When I'm not pondering democrat jokes things like this occupy my mind.
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