Benton, Arkansas Goats, libbbbrrllls, Country Dogs, 24 Nov 2011

We made it Benton, Arkansas today. Benton is a tiny town an hour south of Little Rock and an hour north of Hope, AR which was made sort of famous by William Jefferson Clinton as his birthplace (more on this subject later).  Benton has an "RV Park" that is owned by a really nice man. He is very friendly but that doesn't excuse the fact his "RV Park" is a dump. After we drove into the "RV Park" the owner took us to meet his brand new baby goats. They are cute or at least Deb thinks so, however, I think they all looked like a bunch of dern libbrrlls (yes I know the word is supposed tovbe spelled liberal).  They (goats not Deb and the RV guy) looked funny, smelled, and when asked what they would do to our economy, they answered, " Baaaaaaadddddddddd".   Deb had fun talking baby talk to the goats just like she does to real libbbrrrllls and other creatures of limited intelligence.  But the puppies had no use for the goats at all because The Puppies are city dogs and farm animals all look like libbbrrrlllls to them too. Here are a couple pictures from today. The first is The Love Boat docked next to trailer that has not moved in a while. The second is of our neighbor sporting his new Black Friday outfit from The Dirty Nasty Leasurewear Store.

So after docking The Love Boat, Deb, The Puppies, and The Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy  went  for a walk down the road  which amounted to nothing more than a busy road with houses with country dogs running around the yards off leash. The Puppies learned quickly that country dogs aren't like city dogs in that the country dogs  bark then actually want to bite something. City dogs do a lot of barking but no biting because it is fun or something. Anyway, the country dogs would bark and then haul their country dog butt down within biting distance of The Puppies. That didn't go over well with The Puppies and likely will give them nightmares. But they had fun, and they got to pee on lots of stuff in Arkansas which I later helped them do after I found something out.


Remember I said Clinton grew up just south of Benton? Deb wanted to go see the rock that Clinton was hatched under, but I would rather go lose half my brain and join those Occupy nitwits in downtown Raleigh--my big ole hairy butt. With Clinton's birthplace so close, and with the evidence on newspaper box that I photographed during our walk, I think that I am in the democrat's lair.  You decide for yourself:

Wi

I knew it. Now I'm going to have The Love Boat and The Puppies powerwashed because I am sure that libbrrrrllll got all over them. Just to be sure that is wasn't a pratical joke or something, I immediately  bought two copies of this newspaper that I refused to read.  One copy of the newspaper is for the dogs to poop on and the other to use to cover it up.   Who ever came up with the name for that newspaper wasn't thinking. Most democrats that I know can't read and the ones that can are moving their lips as they read this.


By now you libbrrrrllls that read this blog (please quit moving your lips) pretty much have your panties all bunched up. I promise to lighten up on libbbrrrllllls really soon, but what do you expect with me surrounded by this stuff.  I predict the entry for tomorrow will be different as we will be in Texas somewhere and Texas is not know for libbrrrrlls.   Bye for now.
Al

Nashville, Godzilla, Camo clothing, and Rumble Strips Nov 23, 2011

Hello from Nashville, TN.  We arrived in Nashville around 4pm. It was a challenge sharing the road with so  many lovely and kind people heading to Grandma's house. I noticed something today. Why is it that every car in Tennessee is missing wheelcovers? Is someone stealing them or is it a fashion statement?  I thought about a slogan today for Tennessee. Do you remember the slogan,  "Gee no GTE"? Right? Well, for Tennessee the jingle becomes "Oh Geez no Tennessee".  The roads today were full of scary looking camo clothed people with scary looking camoed little varmints riding in the backseat. If Godzilla and Megalon conceived a "love child" it would reside in Tennessee. I  half expected some of the children in some of these cars to turn to me and say, "GAAAAAAKKKKKKK"  and shoot fire and a deathray from their  camoed mouths at The Loveboat.  The interstates had big, electronic signs over the roads with this saying,  "Buckle up, it's the law".  Well that is plain stupid. Godzilla and Megalon know how to buckle their stupid seatbelts. Why don't they put something useful on that stupid electronic board like, "Brush your dern teeth Idjit" or "Quit siring varmints with your cousins". Am I the only person that sees this.


Monty is having trouble again with The Loveboat rolling over rumble strips along the edge of the road. You know the tires make a, "Brrrrrttttppppptttp" sound when you stray off the tarmac. Every time I drifted a little onto those strips and the tires made the "Brrrppptttttp" sound, Monty (1/2 of The Puppies) would lose his mind and jump into Deb's lap. I think he is having flash backs from Nam or somesuch.  Brrrrttttpp, "Incoming 155 Horwitzers jump into the foxholes boys." Only Deb was the foxhole. 

That is all for today. I am tired and will elaborate more tomorrow.  We should be in Texas somewhere tomorrow.
Al

Thought for the day--Raleigh, NC Nov 21, 2011

We had Chinese food for dinner tonight, and my fortune cookie said, "He who seeks finds."  That saying bounced around inside the hollow shell of my head and emerged as "He who seeks finds but he who uses a stud finder seeks less".  This has been your thought for the day.

Well, we are not on the road yet. Deb and I got simultaneous viruses that left us laying flat for a few days. After the bed phase, the yucky stage set in and so here we are.  Needless to say, even though I'm going to anyway, we got behind in our work and are still in Raleigh.  We will likely leave mañana or miércoles.

In case you didn't notice that was Spanish in the last sentence. Yours truly is taking Spanish lessons and doing fair at it. Spanish is a little easier to understand than Yankee.  I really have no desire to learn Yankee unlike Spanish.  The reason that I am learning Spanish is to be able to survive on my own for five weeks  in 2013 as I walk the Camino de Santiago in Spain.  I know what you're thinking, "Why is a big ole dumb Southern boy going to walk 500 miles in northern Spain."  Here is where you try to guess what I'm thinking. Go ahead, guess. I am concentrating really hard.  I just read your mind, "He has lost his mind?" No that is not the case, I never had a mind to lose.  I plan to tell you pieces of the reason over the next two months. Quit whining, I'll get to it later.

Speaking of later, I've been working on The Love Boat (our motorhome) over the last couple weeks, and it is sparkling and ready to go. We have tried diligently to buy The Diesel Love Boat but have not been able to do so. The Love Boat has a gas engine and a diesel engine would allow us (read Deb) to carry more useful item (junk) easier across the country.   Actually, I want a diesel to make driving easier in mountainous terrain. The Love Boat slows down fairly slow in steep hill climbs. I've dreamed about a  motorhome that can climb mountains as fast as John Edwards can climb skanks. We had about as much success finding a motorhome as John Edwards has had trying to convince us that he didn't use campaign funds trying to hide his skank mistress.  Deb and I will eventually find a motorhome, but John Edwards is destined  to join Martha Stewart's bunkmates in Club Lockdown soon.  I really enjoyed the parallel in this paragraph almost as much as I have enjoyed telling idiots that voted for BO that BO's fiefdom will soon end.


We plan to leave mañana (I'm teasing you here) but will likely leave Wednesday (miércoles) morning. Hasta luego amigos.

Al, Deb, and The Puppies (Los Perritos)

More upcoming trip Raleigh, NC Nov 11, 2011

Dude, it has been cold or rather wet and cold. The older I get the less I like the cold. This is where you say something like, "You want some cheese and crackers with your whine?"  No really, it has been cold and wet. I was outside today installing a new Waterpump 9000 today into The Love Boat, and I had to wear a heavy coat. Geez Louise. Anyway, I got Waterpump 9000 installed and it makes the faucets squirt water like BO (head  of the democrat party and yes the small case d in democrat is intended) squirts nonsense like, "Yes we can or rather yes we told you we could, but we knew we never could and accordingly can't".  Oh baby, I got the democrat joke in really fast this time.  Anyway, the Waterpump 9000 does a grand job or pumping water from the fresh water holding tank to the faucets and stuff onboard The Love Boat.  Before we had Waterpump -9000 installed, and it was about useless. Now that I have captivated you and applied grandiose plumbing science, I think that I should talk about our trip some. Right? Right.

Our current plans have us going through Nashville and turning southwest in Little Rock, Arkansas to avoid having to cross upper Arizona and New Mexico. You may remember the last trip to Califunknia, we crossed the plateau west of  Santa Fe and barely avoided a bad winter storm. You landlubbers with 4 wheeled cars wouldn't pay much attention to the snow, but The Love Boat slips and slides a  bunch easier than big 18 wheeler trucks and small cars. So, we aim to avoid the whole situation and go through Dallas, lower AZ, and NM.  Yada, yada, yada. Whine, whine, whine.

We took The Puppies for a long walk tonight in the cold air, and I do believe they love this weather.  The Puppies are sporting the latest in Keeshond outerwear and tolerate the cold quite nicely.  I would say a lot nicer that Big Ole Dumb Southern Boys.  Speaking of walking, Deb and I are planning to walk The Camino de Santiago. in Spain in 2013. I plan to walk all 500 miles of it, and Deb will join me for a week or two.  I guess I will take about 5 weeks to walk "The Camino".  The Camino has been around for 1100 years, and I just got around to it.  I've known about The Camino all of my adult life but haven't had the opportunity to walk it. I can honestly say that it will be an adventure, and no The Love Boat will stay at home for that trip. I wont elaborate more on that trip as you can Google it and get all kinds of insomniac relief information on it.  Let's just say that The Camino is a pilgrimage, and no I won't have to wear a big hat and Deb won't have to cook for Indians on that trip. 

I'll update the blog in a couple days.

Upcoming cross country trip Nov 5, 2011 Raleigh, NC

I'll bet you thought I forgot about you?  Well, I did. Guess what is going to happen soon? Go ahead guess. You guessed correctly if you said a cross country trip. We leave in a couple weeks for Palm Springs, CA for a month or whatever time period in which we get good and tired of living in a motorhome.  Some of the people that read the blog will remember the last trip to California where Walter had a close encounter with pig heads in Austin, TX,  my chakara  in Sedona, AZ, the yack hatted hippie idiots in Santa Fe,  the trailer park in Palm Springs  (oh God I still have nightmares of that place), and Dallas Cowboy's Stadium.  Gosh, I think I hit the good parts. Anyway, we are returning to GranolaLand  but we are not staying in that awful trailer park. Long time readers remember the names that I gave to our stuff.  You know the names, The Love Boat (our motorhome), The Crapper (our PT Cruiser towed car), The Puppies (our dogs Monty and Riley), Deb (my wife The Bleach Bottle Blond/ Chinese novelty), and myself (globe trotting Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy). I would have mentioned Walter (our friend and sidekick in motorhome navigation), but he discovered women (Melissa a nice young lady as opposed to Walter is not a nice young lady) and a job with a boss that has no sense of humor.  Maybe Walter and Melissa will factor into this trip somewhere. Oh goody a mystery.  We shall see. Did you notice how many parentheses that I used?  I like parentheses.

This trip will cover a few new places.  The thought of me having to put with hippies again didn't sit well with me.  Actually, the thought of me being stranded in snowy Santa Fe with all of those hippies is what didn't sit well with me. As you know I have little use for hippies which comes from my Post Traumatic Hippy Syndrome (PTHS)  when I was a soldier and hippies came up to me in the airport (when I was in uniform) and called me a baby killer and spat on me which really upset my chakara.  Boo hoo water the hippy nightmare flowers. Anyway, we are planning to take a new route this time with a few places and unique people that I can talk about. I am giddy as a school girl just thinking of the possibilities. 

Al, Deb, and The Puppies

 

Severe Weather on April 28, 2011

Round two of the tornado bearing weather rolled through the south last night and today. NC was spared for the most part. Chattanooga, TN which is just over the NC border in Tennessee had 76 people to die. This storm was far worse than 10 days ago.  We are fine though.

Tornados in Raleigh April 18, 2011

Hi de ho Yall. We have had lots of people call and ask us if we are alright and the answer is yes. Satuday's storm was a scary storm. The tornadoes spawned from the storm were very close to us, but we didn't  receive any damage. Parts of Raleigh were not as lucky. Three children were killed when the tornado blew up the trailer park 4 miles from our home.  About 45 minutes east of Raleigh several people were killed-- a few from the same family. As of today, the death count in NC is a couple dozen and 120 homes were destroyed.

Every day of our lives is a gift.  Be thankful for what you have been given and with whom you share it.   I am.